No lie, I checked my work email for the first time in several days today and there was a message from Melissa, our CEO. Perhaps you might recall from a couple entries ago (the things we left behind) that I had been waiting for a personal package (yes, containing undies) from JC Penney when we got shut down. I figured certainly, some guy in Shore Mortgage had them in a desk drawer somewhere. But no. The package ended up in the hands of our CEO. She emailed me to let me know that she hadn't realized it was a personal package and so she opened it. I emailed back that she could probably imagine that I was a little red-faced and giggling. And then coincidentally, I received the re-ordered ones from UPS at home today. They were a little racier than I thought they'd be so I was even more embarrassed thinking of Melissa sitting there in the office, up to her eyeballs in bankruptcy matters opening a package for me and pulling out some saucy knickers....I hope she got a good laugh out of it...I sure did. And God knows we can all use some laughter these days.
So there was also another crazy email from our CEO today about us getting our jobs back. We need to email them to let them know if we would be interested in being invited back. Sounds like things are taking longer than they expected--though I don't think anyone was surprised by that--but we could get back to work by mid-April.
I did send an email to let them know I'd like to be invited back. I don't know where things will be with potential jobs, so for right now, I'm looking at this as a paycheck--perhaps a temporary situation, depending on whether anything promising comes my way. But...let me just open up and be real with you...there is a part of me that really, really hopes somehow the sky will open up and angels will fly down and cast their wands at our little company and everything will clear up and money will flow into our coffers once again, as it did in the old Potiker and CUC ownership days. I know there are a million things to prevent anything of the kind from happening...and I'm being supremely naive...but just let me be that for a minute. We've all been through so much crap...even before the bankruptcy...we deserve something good to come from all of our hard work for the past several years. I guess I'm just waiting to hear what kind of grand plan they have and hopefully that will make things clear pretty early on whether we should dip our foot in the pool. And if we do, if it might get chomped off by a crocodile.
All of this crazy drama is finally starting to hit me. I'd been feeling so oddly relaxed about everything and now finally, with this new turn of events, plus some phone screens, which could lead to interviews, it's all going up a notch and my anxiety is creeping back in. Friday night at the Detroit Film Theatre, with the live choir and orchestra, I got a heaping dose of a reminder that it's still there. Theaters and places like that where you can't easily leave if you need to sometimes make me nuts. Sometimes it's ok, but Friday--as much as I enjoyed the whole thing--I also sat there just about crawling out of my skin wanting to walk out so badly. It feels like something bad will happen--like maybe you'll throw up and breathing starts to feel weird--and mainly, you just want to escape as if your life depended on it.
Other signs of anxiety have been popping up too. I had my first bout of nighttime anxiety last night since this whole thing started. I finally took a pill around 3. Fell asleep around 4 and had to get up around 7 to go to the unemployment office. Then the past couple days, I've noticed a little sore spot on the crown of my head--not like hit-your-head sore--it's weird-sore. Several years ago, when going through a stressful time, I noticed a tiny bald spot about the size of a dime in the same spot that hurts right now. It had that same weird-sore feeling then. I am hoping I don't lose hair.
I know I shouldn't let this stuff get to me--but it's just my nature. Dave suggested that we should just take this opportunity to join the Peace Corps (because you know, they're always looking for people approaching middle age who can barely assemble furniture from IKEA.) or move to Montana (hey Jill! ;). I pretty much rolled my eyes at that. But who knows...maybe that's what I need is just to totally uproot it all and try something completely new. Yeah, a fresh start and some hair plugs and I'll be all set!
Ha - "because you know, they're always looking for people approaching middle age who can barely assemble furniture from IKEA."
ReplyDeleteI'll move with you, but not to Montana!
Ok, we'll let you know Joy...maybe North Dakota... :)
DeleteWhen I was out of work, I went to afternoon movies. They were $5 to see first run shows.
ReplyDeleteI'm fortunate in that I have been invited to go back to my old job starting monday...but a little part of me is kind of bummed that I never got to that sort of more laid back level of unemployment! I was still in the mad-scramble part. Never got to enjoy the mid-day matinee. Ah well...next time around :)
ReplyDeleteI totally understand the naïve hope. I have the same feelings (and am also going back at least for now...I'm trying to force myself to think of it as a temp job until I hear otherwise!). I was supposed to start Monday, but have jury duty so I started this week already.
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