day 5: the floodgates have opened...good grief

Sounds weird to think of having 3 days off this past week and still feeling that a "break" was necessary today, but that was the case.  And, turns out, when you stop and look around for a minute, that's when the feelings hit.  

I cried the day it happened as I walked around saying my good-byes.  But then I went and got drinks with friends and was so wound up after that, no more sadness hit. The second day, I got teary in yoga, but put it away for later and it never struck again later.  Every day since has just been a whirlwind of activity and calls from friends and focusing on what I need to do.  Emotions got put on a shelf....or maybe in a bag in my extra bedroom with all the stuff from my cubicle that has yet to be unpacked. 

My boyfriend and I went out to breakfast this morning with my brother and his girlfriend.  After breakfast, my brother and his gf moved on and Dave and I decided to go to a rummage sale (that's just a thing I've always enjoyed--it's not because of my new financial status).  I was feeling a little melancholy on the drive there.  It hit anew when we arrived and the church was so beautiful--a hidden gem in a neighborhood in Detroit.  On the way out, I felt sad because the church ladies were so nice (what?)  Then I cried silently, to myself as we left because we saw a stray cat.  Then Dave proceeded to tell me about a little Yorkshire terrier he and my brother had seen this week that was stray and limping (but another work crew picked it up so it had a happy ending).  I just quietly cried behind my sunglasses.  That cleared up, but when we got home, I got mopey again.  Dave gave me a hug and I had a good cry for a couple minutes.  Then we watched the movie "Apocolypto".  I asked Dave if it would be sad and he said no.  Then there was a scene in which all the parents in a small jungle village are either killed or taken away and the children are left behind....omg...thanks for forgetting about that, Buddy....(but really a great film...check it out).  

Now, I think stuff gets real.  The mad rush is over.  The well-wishes have been received and appreciated.  Dave goes to work tomorrow and I don't.  Tonight he tried to lift my spirits by pointing out that Mondays are the best when you're unemployed (he's experienced this a couple times) because everyone is off to work, but you're not. He is used to me being bummed out by Sunday nights because I always hate the end of the weekend.  Even though I'm always annoyed for the fun to end and having to get back to the grind, I still feel good when I arrive at work and see my friends and get back into it.  Tomorrow will be weird.  

So I am going to try to keep a sort of normal-person routine. I will continue to get up at the same time and I will just treat this job search like my job, as I'm sure most people are.  I have sent my resume out to a decent handful of people/places.  I have a long list to tackle still, but I'll get through it.  Must get to bed now so I'm all ready for "work" tomorrow.