day 9: the things we left behind

This one's gonna be fast and dirty, y'all...like my house.  I've gotta clean because people will be shooting photos in it tomorrow.  I don't want the lint-balls on the carpet to get stuck in the model's toes...or dust to get on her pantaloons if she leans on my furniture.  

Had that phone screen today.  I think it went well.  It was chatty and I think that helps.  We'll see.  Thanks for all the well-wishes, everyone...it helped!  I felt pretty good!  

It's weird to think of what we left behind...I'm not talking about the friends and the memories and all that stuff, though that's all painfully true...I'm talking about the stuff. 

I stopped at the old building the other day to check for a package.  I always had my personal packages shipped to me at work because someone stole a package off my front porch once--pillow shams--what a jerk.  Anyway, this particular package had undies in it from JC Penney (they had a nice selection of cute ones, you guys...check 'em out).  According to JCP, someone named Evan or with the last name of Evans signed for it.  They allowed me to re-order them at no charge, which was cool.  But still, I can't help envisioning some dude named Evan prancing around in my red thong.  

If I had gone up the stairs to our old stomping grounds, there would have been other things of note....and now the trustees will see these things....what will they think of them?  

Art production placed some skeletal remains (from Halloween, of course...it's not that gross in there) on the floor in their area with a sign instructing people to "keep calm and coupon".  

A co-worker had a ghost bike* parked in a spare cubicle [*a ghost is a bike painted white...this particular one was a child's bmx-style bike, which only made it more awesome].  I'm told ghost bikes get left at places where bikers have been killed...?  This particular ghost bike was an homage to a beloved VP who got sent on his way about a year and a half in advance of us. It was not unusual to see him riding the little ghost bike around the office from time to time. I've never witnessed a ghost bike out in the world...but we were fortunate to enjoy ours at work, however briefly.  I hope they are a little freaked out when they have to carry that ghost bike out to the dumpster...they should be.  

In my cubicle, they will be met with a paper mache wolf head that I made myself years ago to be used in our Halloween decorations.  The wolf head would sometimes show up in people's drawers or chairs or garbage cans....sometimes you'd hear a shriek and know that the wolf head had struck again!  (Why, oh why didn't I tuck that guy in my drawer with his face peeking out?  Ugh...the regrets...

My cubicle also had a wall of awkward photos.  Over the years we collected a pretty nice array of our co-workers from their awkward years.  That was the one rule...it could be from any age, but it had to be awkward, preferably including things like perms or braces...and maybe posing with a trumpet...or maybe prancing like a horse and leaping over a bench covered with fern fronds to pose as a hedge....or maybe in a photo with your brothers where you have clearly peed your pants....or maybe posing with your brother in all red, black and white 80s fabulosity, complete with wine glass filled with red-dyed water, to be used as the cover for his band's tapes.  That was my favorite!

And maybe when they start to tear things down they will find other things....like perhaps a piece of baloney taped under a desk...or a dried up old hot-dog stuck into a pencil holder...or a rotten old banana peel...or a tiny dried up carrot that at one time, had been shaped like a penis...or an old Taco Bell taco...that really hasn't...changed its composition..at...all...hmm. 

Yes, we were a group of weirdos....who will love us like we loved each other?  If you work someplace like this, don't take it for granted...and please message me if you have any openings.