day 2: lesson learned: derailments can be good

Today started off with good intentions, but I got derailed pretty early on...but in the best way possible....

After 4 hours of sleep, I still got up at about 8, made breakfast, got my old computer out and began what should have been a quick update of my resume that was just updated in August. But first I had to check facebook and respond to texts.  Then I had to make breakfast.  Then a shower.  Then a couple phone calls.  Then plans for lunch....  

And there sat my resume, practically untouched.  I had every intention of updating it yesterday so I felt a little behind.  But when one of my good friends invited me to lunch, I was like, resume, I will work on you later.  

After a yummy burger and some fun catching up and a lunch-time drinky or two (or, alright, 3), we decided to go back to her house and jam.  Yeah, that's right, jam.  My friend has a drum kit, guitars, bass, all the amps and pedals and a microphone all set up in her living room.  She got on the guitar and I got on the drums.  Let me explain that I don't play any instruments.  I played the flute in school, but quit in 10th grade (there was a band camp hazing incident...involving a tiny bra...held up in the cafeteria...it might have been mine...maybe definitely...). I never played the drums.  But today I did.  And it was awesome!  I wasn't very good, but it felt good!  

Seriously, pounding on something with sticks...that was precisely what I needed this week!  I can honestly say that I played till my fingers bled.  Ok, one finger....because there was a ring on it....but I got blood on the stick!  Blood!  She showed me how to play a Bo Diddley beat and I was pretty bad at it, but in the moments when I kept it up, man...cathartic!  

My friend's husband, also a dear friend, passed away 2 years ago after a long, painful battle with pancreatic cancer.  And after he was gone, that's really how she got through it.  She didn't even know how to play those instruments very well, but just wanted to learn and I think it was just a perfect outlet.  

I'm not saying my situation is like hers, but it just reinforced the idea that finding that thing--like playing drums or whatever it is--that's a good way to deal with a difficult or painful situation.  I have dealt with an anxiety disorder my whole life and I refuse to turn to pharmaceuticals ever again.  I have been concerned that the loss of my job could throw me into a tailspin, but I feel hopeful that if I can find something--yoga or writing or painting or whatever--while I go through this, maybe I will weather the storm without having to dope up with some Big Pharma nightmare pill.  

And hopefully I will be at her house again soon to play those drums....40+ girl-band...yeah!!!